When I was 13 years old my father had a serious accident that resulted him being hospitalised for many months. From the outset, one of the most onerous duties was repeatedly explaining to people what had happened and then, over subsequent weeks, how he was progressing. I clearly remember my mother suggesting that we should put a bulletin board on the gate post. For a long time, our lives were defined by my father’s health – we would be greeted not by enquiries about our own well-being (‘Hi, how are you?’) but about my father (Hi, how’s your dad?’).
It’s a long way to deliver a casserole!
Yesterday I heard from a friend that her husband had been diagnosed with kidney cancer. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ I asked, not really knowing what that might be since she lives 170 miles away. But, in fact, she had an answer: ‘Tell me how to make a blog. I feel the need to write.’
So I did. A number of messages back and forward and a phone call and she’s all set up with her new blog and instructions to call me if she wants to add anything and can’t work out how to do it. Well, it beats making a casserole and having a 340 mile round trip to deliver it!
To begin with, I wondered about the blog, but then I thought of my mother’s wished-for noticeboard and realised that this was the same thing. Isn’t technology amazing?
The Snail of Happiness 
Anne Phillips
/ January 23, 2015Wow this struck such a cord with me as my father had a brain haemorrhage when I was eleven and was in hospital for a year. My mother had to sell the business they had as she couldn’t manage on her own and we were too little to be much help. Definitely coloured my growing up. Good luck to your friend and her blog.
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 23, 2015I know so many people whose childhoods were affected by parental illness. My friend has two children at school and one of her wishes is that their lives are not dominated by their dad’s diagnosis… I really hope the blog will help.
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thecontentedcrafter
/ January 23, 2015Yes, technology is amazing. So are friends! xo
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Wild Daffodil
/ January 23, 2015You are so right!! xx
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narf77
/ January 23, 2015This is the power of social media. Giving someone an “out” with their own chosen personal space included. Somewhere to ponder, to explore and to work through personal tragedies and to share with other people going through the same thing or to meet new friends. All in all a very positive step for your friend who must be feeling like the world just pulled the rug out from under her.
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 23, 2015Unlike many social networks, the blogosphere seems very caring… I’m very happy to be here!
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narf77
/ January 24, 2015Me too 🙂
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Wild Daffodil
/ January 23, 2015Blogland is a wonderful place! And I too remember when I was 7 or thereabouts my Dad, a farmer, was run over by a hay baler and we thought he was going to die and then he had months of recovery – gosh I haven’t thought about that in years! I do hope your friend has loads of positive experiences in blogland and it helps.
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 23, 2015So may folks with parental illness when they were young… but we are all here to tell our stories. It is lovely to find such a caring and nurturing place here in the blogosphere ❤
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katechiconi
/ January 23, 2015Parental illness shapes us a lot. It made me capable, able to do things around the house at an early age, We grow up a lot faster, and we’re perhaps more responsible people, with a broader view of what matters in life and a less entitled point of view, since we know how quickly all ‘stuff’ can be take away.
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 23, 2015So true.
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Nanette
/ January 23, 2015A friend’s and fellow blogger’s husband recently had a sudden, out of the blue heart attack. She blogged about it, and it was so heartwarming to see reader’s comments, a lot from bloggers who had been through something similar with a loved one, but also her readers in general. In those early days when he was in intensive care, and as she said later, she was “a zombie”, her readers took care of her, checking that she’d eaten, or suggesting she go off and have a cup of tea, offering suggestions for self-care that they’d found worked. Someone checked in everyday and just said “breathe now Maria”. She found it very nurturing to have so many people realise how hard it was for her, just watching and waiting….lovely place, blogland!
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 23, 2015That’s lovely to hear. In this world of bad news stories, it’s good to remind ourselves that we are surrounded by caring, thoughtful folks who really do have each others’ best interests at heart.
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insearchofitall
/ January 24, 2015What a kind thing for you to do! Helping her start her blog so she can connect to the world for support. I know this blog land has helped me in ways you can’t even imagine. There was no one to call for help in set up but I figured most of it out alone. You are a good friend and the world needs more like you.
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youngatfifty
/ January 24, 2015Goes to prove writing can be so self healing and nurturing in challenging times. And thanks to the internet, it is so easy to share our thoughts, feelings, troubles, experiences and our creativity !! The best part of it is, there will always be someone out there who can relate to what you have to say. So glad you helped your friend and my best wishes for her husband’s recovery.
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gentlestitches
/ January 25, 2015I am loving our technology more every day. ❤
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The Snail of Happiness
/ January 25, 2015Me too!
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