No more eyelash curlers

Eyelash curlers- they look like an instrument of torture to me  (Source: Macador at the German language Wikipedia)

I do quite a lot of my shopping on-line – partly because there aren’t many big stores near us and partly because  I can do it with a cup of tea and a biscuit whilst sitting down. This does mean, however, that I get marketing e-mails from various companies. I can’t help feeling, though, that they are not really targeted at people like me. For example, the latest one from House of Fraser was entitled: Say goodbye to eyelash curlers, we’ve just found your new fave mascara. I’m so relieved! All those hours I have wasted, struggling to achieve curly eyelashes and now I can simply use some mascara… no, hang on… do I have eyelashes? Oh yes, I’ve checked and I do. When did I last actively interact with them? Erm… perhaps last time one of them got into my eye?

It is becoming apparent that House of Fraser don’t know me very well. The media tells me that large stores are tracking my purchases and building up a profile of me based on the things that I buy so that they can target their marketing. Which is where it all goes wrong with me. I’m racking my brains and I think that the only thing I have ever ordered from this particular store was some bedding about 10 years ago! And so, a profile is difficult to construct – I’m not even sure that they know I’m female since my title (Dr) is gender neutral and so is my first name (most of my Scandinavian editing clients think I’m male unless I tell them I’m not). So based on a duvet cover, some pillowcases and a guess that I am a woman because most Jans in the UK are, they have concluded that I need to tend my eyelashes AND can be tempted to spend money on doing so! I’m not sure what this says about stereotyping by marketing executives and perhaps I don’t want to go there. I think my lack of purchases over many years should tell them all they need to know about me!

The other day I ordered a waffle iron from John Lewis (I had worn out my last one) – I can only guess what marketing e-mails this single purchase may result in during the coming months… A pair of ice skates? A glass-fronted cocktail cabinet? A fascinator? Perhaps I’ll just save myself the trouble and ask to be removed from everyone’s databases … all the time spent not reading marketing e-mails can be dedicated to admiring my completely natural eyelashes – mascara-free and as straight as a die – and cooking waffles.

 

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17 Comments

  1. Ah, come on, don’t you know all us women spend countless hours every day making up our face just so we can go out in public without scaring the children? I, myself, have never used an eyelash curler and have no need for makeup, but that’s what I’m told… ^_^

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  2. My guess is that you’re not on facebook, then? The gremlins in that little app can totally read your mind, based on the ads that come up on the right hand side. 🙂

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    • I am on Facebook, but I have software installed that prevents tracking cookies, plus settings designed to minimise targeted adverts… it does mean that I get all sorts of random ads based mainly on my gender… I do sometimes amuse myself by clicking on the ‘I don’t want to see this advert’ button and giving silly reasons like ‘I’m bald’ for shampoo adverts!

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  3. I have never seen a real pair of eyelash curlers – I don’t think I know anyone who uses them – certainly I’ve have never noticed anyone with curly eyelashes….

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  4. I couldn’t help but snigger at your post,
    Is this where I’ve gone wrong on my journey through life ??? …. obviously the lack of curled eyelashes has held me back, oh wait a minuet I’m a health care professional, married, born 2 quite well adjusted offspring, and I haven’t scared the locals for ages with my lack of curled eye lashes or mascara…I bet the marketing types turn in their graves at our lack of media hype purchases LOL

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  5. Supermarkets track purchases through loyalty cards, ostensibly to ‘better target us with offers tailored to our needs’. So why are they offering me ice cream, yoghurt and cream when it’s perfectly clear I buy lactose free milk? Or biscuits and pies, when so many of my purchases are gluten free? I don’t believe there’s any human intervention in the process at all!
    I used to own a pair of eyelash curlers because I found applying mascara tedious. The dratted things pull your eyelashes out. I’ll stick to an occasional lick of mascara for special occasions, thanks….

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  6. Haha – I’m an occasional mascara wearer but I still don’t want marketing e-mails about it. What annoys me is you buy something random as a gift for someone and next you’re inundated with mail for that object. And clearly these marketing algorithms don’t work or Sainsburys would have realised that my husband and I have never ever bought meat products and frequently buy Quorn (I think you can possibly extrapolate from that that we are vegetarian!) so vouchers for money off meat & fish and related products probably isn’t too helpful. 🙂

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  7. LOL! 😀 from an occasional mascara wearer. 😀

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  8. Make-up. Oy. I think we should all just admit that we’re perfectly happy to rely on our natural beauty. As for the targeting–sometimes it’s good and sometimes not. Mostly I get things for weight loss, which wouldn’t be a good idea. Maybe the marketers just think all women think they’re fat. And need curly eyelashes.

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  9. My guess is the buyer for the company over bought. Hit the 100 key instead of the 10 so they are trying to offload them to anyone. Bet there are some guys out there with pretty eyelashes they want to curl. 🙂 Me, I’m blind in one eye and can’t see out the other so finding my eyelashes to curl could be a real challenge. Stopped wearing any makeup when the face became paralyzed. It’s scary enough without bringing attention to it. I’m at an age where I put a hat on and hope I’m not noticed at all. But I do remember those curlers from eons ago.

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  10. Given some of things it has been suggested I might like to buy, perhaps it is not being sexist at all but just stupid? I have on a number of occasions had stuff for various cosmetic items targeted at me. ;0

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  11. I’m proud to admit that I’ve never even been tempted to use an eyelash curler – as you say, they look like a torture instrument, rather than an aid to beauty! Lol
    Whatever happened to the ‘natural’ look? 🙂

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  1. E-squirrel | The Snail of Happiness

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