Three Things Thursday: 21 December 2017

My weekly exercise in gratitude – three things that are making me smile – feel free to steal this idea with wild abandon and fill your blog [or Twitter account or Facebook page or diary or life in general] with happiness.

First, the solstice. It’s been lovely to get ‘happy solstice’ greetings from so many friends. Now we can look forward to longer days, even if it is just a smidge more light each day, it is very welcome.

looking forward to more evenings like this

Second, shelter not presents. As you may know, we don’t send cards or give presents at this time of year, instead we donate to charity. This year I decided to focus my donations on people who do not have a roof over their heads, so I donated to Crisis, St Mungo’s and Moas. It seems wrong for us to accumulate more when there are people with nothing; I hope my donations will go a little way to providing some warmth, shelter and safety for those who are without it. I am grateful for the roof over my head and this is one way to share my good fortune.

Third, looking on the bright side. A few weeks ago, in a fit of enthusiasm/madness/mid-life crisis I applied for a job… in London. Yesterday I heard that, despite being very well qualified, I hadn’t even been short-listed. I am devastated – not because I was certain that I wanted the job, but because the response made me feel completely unwanted and unvalued. It was a job in which I could have had a big positive impact on people’s lives, but now I’ll never know what might have been possible. However, it’s over and there’s no use ‘what-iffing’. So now I’m doing my best to look on the bright side… I didn’t really want to have to find somewhere to live in London, and I didn’t want to have to be away from Mr Snail during the week; I wouldn’t have had time to do as much creative stuff if I had got the job, nor to write the books I’m planning, nor to develop my creative business. Even so, I’m still finding it hard not to be glum – no one likes rejection. Cheery comments would be most welcome today… I’m always grateful when I hear from my readers.

So, that’s some of what’s making me happy (and sad) this week. How about you?

-oOo-

Emily of Nerd in the Brain originally created Three Things Thursday, but it’s now being hosted by Natalie of There She Goes.

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38 Comments

  1. ❤💛💜

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  2. You know, you hear this phrase so often, “Things always work out for the best”, which I think is actually pretty stupid because there are so many examples of where things don’t at all. In fact, they can often get even worse. There are always circumstances that inhibit our “free will”, if you like, so it’s only when we can accommodate events (or non-events) that we can shape our perspectives in order to learn from what happened, and see that survival and a happy future are up to us by making the best of what is. It’s too fatalistic otherwise.
    I’ll get off my soapbox now. And would also like to add that you were most likely not shortlisted for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you personally or your qualifications. 🙂

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    • If I’m being sensible, the job would actually have been rather a pain logistically at least, and so in the long-run it has save me a lot of hassle. Still, that isn’t what goes through your head when you are rejected!! I think it will push me to have a good long think about my other work and activities because the appealing thing about the job was that it was potentially very influential in terms of my country’s direction in agriculture and the environment and I don’t think I’ll ever have the chance again to make that much of a difference. I’ll just have to carry on working from the bottom up I suppose.

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  3. I am so sorry about the rejection Jan. I know nothing about the job or the circumstances so no idea why it happened just that it hurt you. I remember too that your plans to make cheese on a bigger scale hit the buffers when there was TB on the farm where you sourced raw milk. Seems to have been a year of pushing at doors that will not open properly. But selfishly I want you to write that book – no idea what it is about but I know I want to read it! London would probably have scuppered that. And Mr Snail would have missed you very much. You are a lovely, clever, intelligent, generous, creative person and there is a job for you to do – a postcard telling you what it is would be helpful, preferrably last week and if not today – but you will find out in due course. Loads of love to you both. I would come and give you a big hug if I could drive!

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  4. Reasons why people don’t get short listed, — nepotism, not one of us, failed to get the funding in place, boss didn’t sign it off, over or under qualified, lack of experience, decided on A level results because the degree qualifications were all the same, too much experience and manager would feel threatened. Getting short listed is a game in many ways. You are entitled to ask why you didn’t get short listed but the reason is likely to be watered down, especially if the reason is gender, ethnicity, age etc.
    Frankly my dear it is their loss, and your BIG OPPORTUNITY

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  5. and I pressed post too quickly there.
    Your big opportunity to do something even better. I think you had a very lucky escape the gods of the solstice have smiled on you, London is a horrible place, dirty, nosiy, expensive, think of the deisel fumes.
    You are much better off in Wales, educating us lot.
    Much Lovexx, and enjoy the extra minute of daylight tomorrow.

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  6. Laurie Graves

     /  December 21, 2017

    Rejection always stings, but for this homebody, being away from home during the week sounds like a horror. Home is best. 😉

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  7. Dear Snail, what a short-sighted lot you thought you might like to work with…
    Having been in your position quite a few times, I can say with some confidence that age is most definitely a factor, despite any denials or spurious other reasons. They look at birthdays pre-1980s as a sign that the potential employee will be too experienced, too knowledgeable, too likely to be right most of the time, perhaps lacking the endurance for all-nighters and gruelling workloads, insufficiently ‘hungry’ and ambitious, unlikely to want to brown-nose or say yes when they mean no.
    So, with that in mind, put away your regrets, fetch out your book notes and serve yourself an enormous portion of chocolate pudding. You have far more people ready and willing to confirm and endorse your enormous potential, your multiple and manifest skills and your general all-round good-eggness than they will have had applicants. Hugs from both of us in Chiconia. xxxx

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    • Ah, what lovely words. I have settled on making a chocolate tart… the chocolate pastry is currently chilling in the fridge and the filling will be underway soon. It is going to be preceded by a fish pie (sustainably caught Cornish fish).
      I could talk more about the job and why experience would have been good, but ….
      Thank you again for being so supportive

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  8. Sometimes it’s something as silly as “This person would have to make a major lifestyle change and might not be able to adjust.” It might not have anything to do with your qualifications. I would be terribly worried that you would be changed by such a move and I don’t want to lose you! I’m very selfish that way. 🙂

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  9. Leslie Fritz

     /  December 21, 2017

    I am new to reading your blog but it is fast becoming one of my favorite things to do. Your creativity sparks my creativity so I am grateful that you will have the time to work on this and I look forward to watching your success in this business. Keep smiling, Snail, the whole world smiles with you.

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  10. Kate said beautifully, all I would have said, so that’s a ‘ditto’ from me. It also sounds to me that it is the rejection that is the pain – some of us take rejection very personally and it opens old scars and that is the bit that hurts! I could never have been an actor or a writer – all those ‘sorry you are not right for the part’ and endless rejection slips! Imagine the tears!! 🙂 Life has taught me that things do work out for the best, often not in any way I would ever have imagined when I was intent on heading in the one direction with my heart wide open and my hopes high. I have learned to trust that.

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    • You are right – it is the rejection that’s causing the pain. I also feel frustrated that I won’t get the opportunity to do some good for my country at a time when I think sensible voices and creativity are much in need. Oh well, it would have meant working with politicians, which I’m sure would have been astonishingly frustrating.
      Anyway, I’ve started thinking again about writing… I have three books in mind – all non-fiction and likely to be self-published or published via publishers I know personally (so no rejection there!).
      And now, I’m going to enjoy making some plans… perhaps I need a lovely new notebook!

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      • Frankly I think good people working with most career politicians would be driven bonkers. I think you may have had a happy escape. I think initial change happens on the ground with private individuals and NGOs and seeps slowly from there towards political change. Treat yourself to the most lovely new note book! Write a book, publish it and keep engaging people with your lifestyle and permaculture ideals. I think the time is here!

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      • Nikki

         /  December 28, 2017

        Dear Snail,
        It seems to me that part of the hurt you feel comes from a sense of lost opportunity to ‘make a real difference’. As someone who underwent seven stages of selection for a civil service job, only to fail at the last hurdle, I do understand the lure of ‘speaking truth to power’, and the pain & disappointment that follows when that gateway seems to have been closed forever. However, as some other posters have suggested, agents of change, like you, and the multitude of brilliant & inspiring influencers out there, DO make a difference, every single day, using the tools available to them – whether that’s through writing or campaigning or craftivism (what a brilliant concept!) There is a notion that the hard work & detailed analyses of civil servants goes some way to shape government policy – and indeed it does. However, there are also restrictive frameworks & many additional influences (some internal, many external) to government policy…and you know what? Sometimes, despite all the hard work & the best of intentions, a policy ends up looking nothing like what was hoped or indeed expected by any of the key participants. So, I say to you, go and be the agent of change using the medium that most befits you. There’s more than one way to skin a banana!
        Take care.

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        • Nikki

           /  December 28, 2017

          ps. No feedback is standard civil service policy, I’m afraid. It’s to do with the way the recruitment process has been contracted.

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        • You are right in all you say. I used to be a civil servant some years ago and found it immensely frustrating a lot of the time! This particular job was more senior and specifically advisory, which was why I applied. However, I’m going to focus on throwing stones into the pond and watching the ripples spread out… I can choose my own stones and my own pond!

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  11. Murtagh's Meadow

     /  December 21, 2017

    Happy Soltice! I think your shelter not presents is a lovely idea. And as for job, try not to feel too bad. It’s their loss really. My husband and I have been in similar situations and i often think when it happens that the employers already had someone pinpointed for the job.

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  12. Concentrate on the silver linings. Rejection in any form is horrible, but you have so many other things to be thankful for, so focus on those – your books, your creativity, your home. Hugs to you! X

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  13. Well how rude to not even give feedback! They clearly don’t deserve you.

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  14. It was only at my last ever job interview that I learned the term ‘heir apparent’. I felt the rejection keenly but was also saddened that despite years of working to get fairer interviewing, especially for people with disabilities, that new tricks had been learned to make the old, unfair ways possible. Notebook on its way…

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  15. Big love & hugs for you. Rejection is never nice. I guess there is something waiting for you where you can make a difference. But hey, next time you look in the mirror, that lovely lady looking back at you DOES make a difference, to a lot of people. You inspire, gift, encourage and are an all round amazing person. They might not want you, but the craft and permaculture worlds do. You and Mr SoH are very welcome to pop in to ours if you are ever over this way. You will be VERY welcome. 🙂

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  1. Five fings Friday | The Snail of Happiness

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